Side Venture
by adyadita11
Summary: "His name shall be Robert Edward Oswald Speedwagon!" A man's deep voice was echoed through the narrow streets. Follow the bizarre adventure of a Speedwagon as he ventures through the world. Problem is? He's not Speedwagon. Self Insert as Speedwagon.


_**1863, London, Ogre Street**_

"His name shall be Robert Edward Oswald Speedwagon!" A man's deep voice was echoed through the narrow streets. His voice being a sign of power, and demanding respect from these around him. He was wearing black pants and shoes, and a white shirt dirtied by blood, together with a black jacket, that while not seen, it still smelt of blood. Completing his look, was a top hat that most rich folks would be seen wearing. However, his was tattered and dirty, like most of his accessories. Few strands of his blonde hair could be seen under the hat. His eyes were a dirty brown, a quite fitting color for him.

"Are you sure, Bruce? It's quite a mouthful name." The woman who was carrying me asked.

Wait a second, did he say Robert E.O. Speedwagon? Either I was born into the Jojo Universe, or my father was a fanboy. I shivered a bit, as the cool breeze coaxed us.

I took a glance around us, and noticed that I was in some sort of street, most of the buildings had a few holes in them, or broken windows, except the house behind us, which looked new and clean. I flinched a bit as I saw hundreds of people looking at us. I didn't recognize many of them, but there was a guy standing next to who I believed to be my father. Nothing really out of common beside his hat and beaded necklace, which both had feathers attached to them.

My father took a glance at me and my... mother? Then looked toward the weird guy with feathers.

"Kevin, take Robert and Anna inside. This isn't a good weather for children." Bruce ordered the feathered guy, as he turned to the crowd. He seemed to trust him, as he left him alone with his child and wife. "I am gonna need to speak with the boys privately about our new living arrangements."

Quickly, the feathered guy who I have discovered to be called Kevin helped my mother to carry me inside, and while not as warm as I was used to in my old life, it was still warmer than outside.

Now, that there weren't hundred of eyes on me, I could concentrate of my main problem. I was reincarnated as Robert "The Narrator" Speedwagon, for fucks sake! He was supposed to be the main help of every Joestar through the series, either in person or through his foundation. Let's not forget that he died virgin, even with his handsome appearance for someone from the 1800s. Should I stop Dio from becoming a vampire? Or even stop him from stealing Jonathan's body? No... this fact was very important for the future parts. If I don't do that, Diavolo would most likely conquer the world, slowly, but he will. Pucci would most likely just be a priest, if I killed Dio. Goddamn it, having the universe intact sounds better than letting Pucci messing with it.

Ah, fuck it. I'll think of it when the time comes. I was never really the guy good at planning, especially long term plans, as they often tend to fail the most.

Alright, alright. Let's think of what I know right now. My father seemed to be the current boss of these thugs, which Speedwagon would later become, or rather I'd become if I follow the timeline.

Thinking this much isn't really going to help me right now, especially that I am not even a month old. Damn, growing up it's going to be a pain! Okay, I am gonna have to act as a baby to not make them suspicious, and so I am gonna do what every baby does in every second of their life. I cried.

* * *

_**Robert E.O. Speedwagon, Age 12**_

Growing up as the son of the boss was a very interesting experience. Many of the thugs that father tried to have to babysit me only did it to get in his good graces. One of them even gifted me a dagger and taught me how to use it, in case some of the folks they stole from would attempt to get revenge. Of course, this was quite a impossible scenery as most barely survived, let alone escaped.

Living on the Orge Street wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, but considering my family, it was to be excepted. The food wasn't that good, but it wasn't bad either. The beds were made for the middle-class, but it was way better than the others' beds.

On the bad news, Anna, my mother, seemed to get weaker with the years. It was understandable since Ogre Street wasn't really the healthiest place to live for years, and the fact that she took care of me and father only made it worse. As for my father, Bruce, he didn't really changed much, except gaining a scar that runs across the bridge of his nose, earned during one of his fights when some foolish British. He even gave me his old, tattered hat, as had obtained a new bowler hat, that looked a bit too familiar with Speedwagon's, but without the blades.

"Hey, Smallwagon." A young man, with a curved dagger into his right hand came toward me. His most unique feature was a large tattoo streching from cheek to cheek and from forehead to nose dorsum, the tattoo appears to be a butterfly. He was known as Tattoo, as he wished his name to be forgotten.

Smallwagon was a affectionate/mocking nickname most of the people in Ogre Street gave me. That, or Robbie, and Smallwagon sounded way better than Robbie in my opinion. Back to the story, to most people this would look like an attempt to mug me, but this was mostly a normal Saturday.

"Alright, alright. I'm coming now!" I said a bit loudly, as I motioned for him to go ahead. I held my hand on my own dagger, held by a holster at my hip. Tattoo was the one that was teaching me how to use a dagger. The place I was following him to was what we used as a Dojo. Like many of the buildings here, it was abandoned and quite demolished, but it had quite a lot of space to be used for training the thugs in using their weapons, or learning what weapons was fit for them.

* * *

_**London, Ogre Street,"The Dojo"**_

"Listen here, Little Wagon, and listen well. Knife Fighting is one of the most dangerous forms of combat, which is to be excepted due to our profession. It is not that easy or cool as we make it look. It is brutal, bloody and deadly, meant to kill or maim. Now, remember this: your opponent, or worse, you, are going to get cut during this. It's a very high chance for this to happen, and I don't want you to cry if you get a little cut, do you understand? This is the final stage of your training, and the proper training we are gonna do it from now on. We are going to spar one on one, with the risk of maiming or even killing. Boss approved of this himself, believing you were ready, or that's what I thought it was going in his head, at least." Tattoo stated clearly and bluntly.

Wow, his speech hit me right into the feelings. I had no idea he could speak so many sentences without stabbing someone.

"I understand it, Mister Tattoo. I promise you that the time you spent to teach me the basics won't be wasted for nothing!" I said boldly as I charged straight at him with the knife in my hand. However, he simply kicked it away.

"Again." He said blankly as he watched me pick my weapon again.

"Again."

"Again."

"Again."

"Good." After many tries, I finally managed to not get the knife thrown away. "Now's my turn." And with that, he went on attack, with a vertical slash aimed at my face.

I tried to dodge toward right, but it was futile as his weapon sliced right through my skin, from my nose to the jaw, leaving the blood trail down toward to floor. I grunted in pain as I put my finger over what would be my new scar, and looked at the blood trailing on my finger.

"Hmph. At least you didn't die from the first hit." He... praised me? Not really sure.

"Again."

I cursed mentally as we started the spar again. This time, I didn't rush it. I awaited for him to do the first move, which he soon did after he got tired of waiting. I managed to actually dodge it this time, and did the most unorthodox thing in a fight. I threw my knife at him, which managed to get stuck in his rib cage.

To my surprise, he actually smiled at that, as he put his finger over the blood leaking from his wound, and licked the red liquid. "Good, good! You actually managed to stab me this time. I'd say this would be quite sufficient for today's lesson." He muttered this time, as he started to head out on the door. "Come on, let's get ourselves patched up."

I nodded silently as I followed after him.

* * *

**_Ogre Street, Speedwagon residence_**

"Hm... This won't actually look that bad, ya know? It could add some charm and an intimidation factor to his appearance." Bruce said as he took a look over the bandage on my cheek. "Soon, all the girls will be after him."

"I know, right?!" Tattoo said quite proudly of his handiwork.

Ha, what do you know? His words are kinda true, seeing as Speedwagon was known as best waifu Speedwagon thanks to his handsome appearance and charming personality.

"Anyway, let's the kid rest, will ya?" Bruce said kinda hypocritically as he put his arm over Tattoo's nape, as if it was a friendly gesture. "Let's go, let's go!" He muttered as he pushed Tattoo and himself out of the room.

I watched as they left the door, and put my hand over the bandage. I really gotta learn Hamon once I meet Baron Zeppeli. With that thought, I drifted off to sleep.

* * *

_**Robert E.O. Speedwagon, Age 20**_

"From today on, Robert, you've became a man." Bruce's deep voice could be heard in the room. "Well, not yet. You are going to need to go on a expedition to truly become a man. Survive in this world for two years, learn from it, and return once you truly believe yourself worthy of taking over my job." He put his hand over his bowler hat, and put it on my hat, dropping my old hat onto the floor. "Take my hat, too, alright? It's been modified as a weapon, which had helped me in tough time during my days as the boss. I hope it will help you on your adventure, too." He put on a sad grin as he lifted one finger into the air. "Also, take my car, would ya."

"Thank you, father." Putting my hand over my hat, as to not fall, I bowed politely. "Don't worry, I'll be back soon!" I ran on the door and jumped into the REO Speed Wagon. Ironic. Then quickly drove away from the Ogre Streets, for the first time in my twenty years in this world.

There was one little, very little problem, though. I have never driven a car in my life.

"GET OUT OF THE WAY, DUMBASS!"


End file.
